Heather and Craig

The night before Carolyn’s service, we had some fun playing on the golf course with a few of Craig’s cousins. Craig’s Uncle Ken owns a golf course in Peeltown (more on this later). Of course this is Uncle Brian, you can’t get him to take a normal photo.

See? I asked him to get next to Craig for a photo, and this is what I got.

Cousin Lory.

The last time I saw cousin Chad, he was 10. Now he is all grown up and married with a toddler. Hard to believe!

The always handsome husband.

From left: Craig, Gary, Ruston, Chad, Caleb and Brian.

This is Chad’s son, did anyone get his email address or know if he’s on Facebook? I’d love to keep in touch with him.

Again, I asked Brian to get in the photo.

Love.this.guy.

Took a few photos before leaving for Carolyn’s memorial service. These two brothers are so special, and leaned on one another for support through this difficult time. Love them both.

These last few posts have been so serious, so let’s lighten the mood by talking about these awesome new shoes that I picked up for the service. And since I was wearing all black, I wanted to add a splash of color via my pedicure.

Also got a new hair clip while visiting the Galleria in Dallas. When I walked into this mall, my mouth hit the floor (like a country girl in the big city)… everything really is bigger in Texas. Funny story about this clip… it was one of those booths where the lovely Asian women wrap up your hair and put fancy jewels all through it in an effort to sell more (which works, btw). Anyway, I loved the way she twirled my hair with this one, so I asked her if she could leave it in and I would buy it. I didn’t bother looking at the price, thinking it would be $40, maybe $50. Wrong. They are Swarovski Crystals, so it was a $150 barrette!! I would have never spent that much, but I was too embarrassed to ask her to take it out. I guess the shock was evident on my face as she decided to explain the merits of Swarovski Crystals. Whatever, it’s pretty, I’ll keep it.

Since everything else was new, I thought it appropriate to buy a new dress.

Signing the guestbook.

Carolyn’s friends from her Listening Group. (I’m not sure exactly what that means, but I know that they spend a lot of time together and are very thoughtful).

We were trying to get a picture of all the cousin’s, but a few people left. Allow me to explain the lineage. Carolyn was the oldest of five siblings: Mary, Allen, Ann and Jane. Aunt Ann passed away from cancer a few years ago. The cousins belong to the following, with their children in parenthesis:
Carolyn – Brian, Craig (Evan, Ella)
Allen – Chad (Caleb)
Ann – Gary (Emily, Travis)
Mary – Brad, Jennifer (Julia, Cameron)
Jane – Ruston, Matt (Anna, Erin)

Front row: Caleb, Julia, Anna, Erin, Cameron
Back row: Craig, Heather, Chad, Tiffany, Brian, Lory, Jennifer, Gary, Matt, Shannon, Ruston
This is cousin Matt’s wife Shannon, we only get to see each other every few years, but we always have so much to talk about.
This is Craig and Brian’s cousin Lory from their dad’s side of the family. I met her last year when she came to Pittsburgh for Craig’s birthday. She works so hard to make sure the family keeps in touch.
Julia and Cameron are on the left (Jennifer and Tom Bill’s), Anna and Erin are on the right (Matt & Shannon’s).

The month of July was a complete whirlwind for us. My poor, sweet husband was on 10 airplanes in three weeks and had to endure the loss of his mother. The first week of July we took the kids to see Carolyn and celebrate her 71st birthday. Two weeks later, Craig was on his way to see her when she passed. The following week we were there for her memorial service.  It has been a very difficult time, but we have incredible peace with Jesus, knowing that Carolyn is in paradise and no longer suffering. Which begs the question… how in the world can anyone deal with grief without Jesus? If you struggle with faith, or religion in general, please talk to us. We would love to share the news of God’s grace.

One of the hardest things was telling my husband, while he was sitting on an airplane, that his mom had passed and he didn’t make it in time. I would have given anything to be there with him, to hug him, comfort him. On Tuesday, July 21st, Carolyn’s hospice nurse called him to tell him that she wasn’t doing well, and suggested that he visit sooner than anticipated. He immediately booked a flight for the following day. She passed at 12:15pm and he landed at 2:30pm. His brother Brian was also racing from Arkansas to get there in time.  He didn’t make it either. Craig’s cousin Jennifer (an angel) was with Carolyn, reading her scriptures, when she passed. We all believe that they were not meant to be there, or see her in that condition. She was ready to go home.

You can click here to read her obituary in the Austin Statesman.

I have tons of photos to share of our trip to Texas with the kids, but I think I will start with Carolyn’s memorial service. The photograph that was on display near the guestbook was taken a year and a half ago when Carolyn visited us for Craig’s 40th birthday party. She had just been diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer.

We all laughed when we saw all of the hymns we would be singing. Carolyn planned her memorial service and she loved hymns. Her service was very well attended, and very moving. We enjoyed meeting her church family.

We knew that Carolyn would be leaving us, and we knew that she wanted the suffering to be over, but it still very painful, and somewhat shocking, when it happens.

She asked that yellow roses be placed in the fellowship hall.

And here she is in her beautiful urn. If you know Craig and I, or his brother Brian, then you know that we love to joke around. When we first picked Carolyn up at the funeral home, Brian asked if he if she wanted to ride with him to get pizza. The next day we asked Aunt Mary if we could bring mom over for dinner. Hahahaha. Remember, if you don’t laugh, you will cry. Craig and Brian aren’t exactly sure what they will be doing with her ashes, but she did mention at some point that she would like to be scattered over a field of blue bonnets in the spring.

Carolyn sent out this email a week before she passed.

Dear friends and family,
I appreciate your prayers and concern for me during the past months. My cancer reared it’s ugly head with new tumors in the pelvis at the end of January. In April I developed phlebitis in my left leg. Several weeks ago, I developed a pulmonary embolisim and had to be rushed to the hospital and was severely anemic and received two units of blood and a filter inserted to prevent clots from going to the heart or brain.

In the meantime, I received three rounds of chemo treatments which did nothing to shrink the new tumors. I am in a Specialty Hospital until I can, hopefully gain some strength to go home. At that time, I will transfer from home health to hospice care and perhaps, a private sitter if I need someone full-time.

I have had a wonderful visit with my beloved sons, grandchildren, and Heather and her beloved mom, Sylvia. The PA rain followed them to Texas, but they did get in some swim time which they enjoy. I will receive no more chemo treatments. My body has taken all it can endure. My boys wanted so much for me to be healed, but like I told them, sometimes the healing comes in dying. I have so much to look forward to, a new body, free from wrinkles and pain, all the tears wiped from my eyes, a beautiful new room in God’s mansion, and seeing Jesus face to face.

I am so thankful to have had each of you touch my life and will cherish all the beautiful memories. I hope that each of you will support an endeavor to eradicate ovarian cancer or any other horrible cancer which is so devastating to people’s lives. I hope you and your families are well and happy and have the peace of the Lord in your lives.
Love, Carolyn